"Uhmm- um! Begging your pardon, Mister Gordonson... I think I have a simpler idea..." - Scorch, during the mission in Sydney.

SCORCH is the 31st agent of the UNWD, joining their ranks shortly after Minotro, who inadvertently created the machinery that made her what she is today - a small sun.

Character Edit

Appearance Edit

Normally, SCORCH wears a purple hazard suit with more reddish-purple boots and gloves. The suit's gloves have small portals on the palms that allow her to take things into the suit, and the shoes are equipped with powerful antigravity magnets that allow her to hover and, to some degree, fly.


Removing her hood

Without her suit she has a rather monstrous appearance- her body is entirely comprised of fire, flaming gases (mostly hydrogen) and superheated plasma, compressed into a human shape. She has dark plumes of fog coming from her head that form 'hair', and wears hyper-resilient sun-proof under-armour. She has no hands, and her arms end

in spiked points, and her eyes are glowing pinpricks.

She is normally just bright enough to look at without damaging the eyes. If she becomes emotional or agitated, her 'heart rate' rises, leading to agitation in her elemental core and an increase in brightness and heat exertion.

Personality Edit

SCORCH tends to be meek and obedient, with submissive, slavish personality that would lead one to think that she has no willpower at all. She is eager to please and dislikes speaking out of turn. She fears using her power to its full extent. With the right gentle shoves, she will open up a little and show that behind the servile, self-abasing exterior of hers, she's a humble hipster waiting to take selfies and make scrapbooks about forests.

Abilities Edit

She can manipulate heat- by turning up the heat to searing temperatures, or absorbing it to make herself burn brighter but freeze her surroundings. She exerts a massive heat and energy, and at medium-power, she can raze buildings and boil foes in their skin. She also emits a lot of light, and can suffocate enemies in her hair-smoke. She can use her heat and light energy to weld metal and power solar panels.

History Edit

Minotro's technologies were revolutionary, and included the Undying Dais that granted him and his brothers immortality, the Philosopher's Mirror that later went on to be improved by Sylvester Cobra and created GoLD MasTAH's GoLD Makah-Lazah, and the Sycamore Drill that could bore through miles of solid rock with ease.

In his technological adventures, Minotro gained a couple of followers- members of the Cult of Wom who worshipped not only Wom but his creations and blueprints. In 1665, during the panic of that summer's Great Plague, his London workshop was raided by these cultists and they found a note in one of his diaries- a design for an advanced solar-powered shield. However, they misinterpreted the part that said 'bestow the power of the Sun unto man'.

In the 1980s, Minotro finally found his notebooks again, and realised the horrible misunderstanding his 'followers' had made, but it was too late to save their subject. A young woman had been kidnapped, tortured into servitude, and his designs for the Solar Shield had been used to turn her into a small sun.


In her protective suit.

The woman, now named SCORCH (an acronym for Solar Champion, Ousted Royal, Celestial Hero) had no recollection of her former life, and could not live on her own, as she had been kept captive for so long that she did not know how to live if not to serve. Due to her intense powers, Minotro was forced to keep her imprisoned underground until he joined the UNWD, upon which he freed her and politely asked that the UNWD do something to help the poor dear.

She was administered heavy doses of painkillers and rehabilitated, although her days of captivity still linger with her. She was taught how to control her powers and became the protector she (or the Solar Shield at least) was intended to be.

In-Comic Appearances Edit

SCORCH containment

The UNWD Combusto-Containment Unit

Scorch is seen in Slug-Man Episode 11, using a firestorm to wipe out a horde of Zopran robots. However, she barely dents Swbo Bolg, and is slashed in half. This, though probably non-entirely-fatal due to her inorganic physical structure, causes her to lose control and explode, burning those around her. They're probably fine. A little toasty, but fine. In the next episode she is seen contained within the UNWD's purpose-built portable containment unit, being tended to by hazmat agents.

Trivia Edit

  • Her arm blades are actually surprisingly sharp, but do not cause death immediately, as the heat of her body immediately cauterises the wound.
  • In the case of an UNWD power cut, she is Plan C and Plan D. Plan A is the backup generator behind the base, and Plan B is 'Sarky Power', although Gordonson has never really explained what that means. It just always fails. Plan C is using SCORCH as a nuclear fusion reactor, and plan D is using her to power solar panels.
  • Although classified as a 'small sun', this status is debatable, as her body composure is less plasmic.
  • Not to be confused with Scorch The Dramatic, a non-canon solar-powered character designed by Iolo Ll.
  • According to the Colkinom Timeline, she was responsible for the Great Fire of London in the 1660s.